Noventa y dos

All my joints are very ouchy and the renal tchy twitches kept me awake a lot of the night, so I woke up rather glum and wondering what I could do to feel more cheerful as it's a treatment day with lots of opportunities not to...or even worse to spread it around like a nasty germ. I'm all for acceptance, for finding fragments of gratitude and joy when times are hard, but I'm not so enlightened as to not want access to the same sources of earthly pleasure as most other first world humans do! It was early so I didn't have to get up straight away and started sifting through possibilities of ways to plans to make for another time. There are places I would like to go...could I get there? There are people I would like to see - would they feel like seeing me if I tried to make an arrangement. There are items I'd like to buy... can I afford them, and would they really improve my quality of life if I did?

I give great thanks, after a good ponder, for deciding the only way for sure to improve my state of mind would be to meditate more...and for the Insight Timer app for providing just the perfect guided session to suit me at that time.

I give thanks for a nice cup of tea on a Wednesday. The tea maker usually on duty then usually produces a brew that many complain about, so maybe she's got the message. For all my lunch box food also tasting particularly delicious. For a nice chat with one if the brighter young nurses (who also had a bad night and difficulty controlling a very expressive face and tone of voice) about the effort of making small talk politely and our over reliance of non committal noises in response to banalities.

I give thanks for the treatment making me feel better instead of worse this time, which after all is the general idea, and getting on and off the machine in record time so that I was waiting for the taxi driver instead of the other way around. Shame he was stuck in traffic...but it did mean I had time for a more mirth with the lovely research nurse as well. I go through life so rarely finding folk on anywhere near the same wavelength as myself, so encountering one or two among the hospital staff is something for which I am truly thankful!