Snow flakey

Gratitude to Laura for coming to see me yesterday, delivering some bits I needed, taking some rubbish away and making me a cup of tea. In the course of our conversation I realised I was giving thanks for some strange sounding things...for not being a man (as the post operative phase after an operation like this is probably more stressful for them), for not having anyone to look after me (as they might not let me do just as I like, when I like and so on) and for having spent a few years already unwell and alone (as I don't get as obsessed with bodily malfunction as one who has an audience might and have also become very adept at judging when to push myself further and when to STOP!)

I don't really like dwelling on symptoms, or attaching too much importance to outcomes, as you know, but on the whole I'm grateful I feel a bit brighter than yesterday when I felt worse than the day before... I give thanks to whoever thought of sending me a graze box to the ward...and to the ward for ringing to let me know and offering to send it on. I give thanks that it's still mild enough to have the windows open and snooze in the fresh air on my sofa... I'm grateful for pictures of snow covered Scottish gardens where people were doing summer things a week ago and for snowy blossom on a tree just down the terrace...