Check a count

So...hmm...I give thanks for going to bed last night in better spirits even though the pain was worse. I have to believe I'm one of the people for whom the first attempt at treatment works s-l-o-w-l-y because any other outcome (other than recovery speeding up) is unthinkable...as in I cannot bear to think of bearing the hundreds of hours and thousands of minutes between now and my follow up, let alone finding something else to try. 

On the other hand I give thanks I understand while belief can be a wonderfully enriching thing, counting on anything with blinkered faith can cost you dearly... I give thanks for all the people wishing me well, literally and metaphorically...

I give thanks after all that racking yesterday I came up with an idea - I made a tablecloth! I've not been able to contemplate using my sewing machine since all this started suspecting (quite rightly!) sitting in a chair would be uncomfortable enough, let alone trying to use the pedal. On the other hand I've not been able to face packing up all the unfinished makings and mendings around it, lifting and squishing it into a corner somewhere either...so today was both a valiant attempt and eventually an achievement even if it was just a bit of pinning and straight stitching. Do you know what was best of all though? For each little session (I split it up so as not to shock my body too much) I had this amazing feeling I wasn't stumbling along misguided miles in someone else's shoes. It felt like I was in my own body properly being me! This isn't unheard of nowadays...but still rare and precious and something to be most grateful for...

I give thanks for finishing that garlic laden soup I made with garlic bread I didn't on the side...after I'd taken the recycling out so as not to cause an environmentmental hazard in the neighbourhood! For fancying tarte tatin for dessert, realising I didn't have most of the most important stuff to make it including motivation and having chopped up apple mixed with toffee popcorn instead. I've had this before and can heartily recommend it as a sweet snack!