Five years ago today I had the operation they'd at first said it wasn't worth having...but in the end (as there hadn't been one) at last agreed actually in my case well maybe it was...
Last time I saw the surgeon he explained, quite reasonably, that as they'd had to throw away the rule book as regards predictions and prognosis for me, they weren't about to risk any more credibility by announcing anything like an all clear...but still it seems a significant milestone, and one that should be marked in some way other than by being quietly emotional about it at home alone. I've known people pass the date with fanfares...and others pass away before they got there...so when you read this please be stuck in the middle with me for a few moments and raise your glass or mug, or give me a mental hug!
It's been a twisty tricksy road I've been travelling on for so long. I give thanks for the people who started out with me but turned off along the route somewhere. They showed me how strong I am and there's no need to be needy... And I give thanks for the folk I've met while I've been trudging on for seeming to find something they could appreciate in journeying with me a while...You helped me remember you never know what's coming up around the bend. Oh and I give thanks for those who've stuck with me through it all of course...you guys are just awesome!
It's been the wettest day for a long long time but I've been feeling fitter than I have for a long long time so I give thanks I did the sensible thing and got a cab into town with a huge bag of stuff for a charity shop. And after that, even more thanks for sploshing around doing other useful odds and ends like buying a loaf of good bread and some wicked cookies, dripping all over prescription forms in the chemist and...drrrrrrrummmm rrrrrrrrolllll...I even went up to Waitrose and looked around a few aisles where I was able to pick up a couple of bargains including things for the big breakfast next week. I give thanks they have a free taxi phone there and that when I called to see how long one would be they said 'straight away'!
This may be one of those random one off days of wonder in the progress of my disgruntled discs...but as I'd been trying to think how I could celebrate still being alive being still and feeling rather sorry for myself, just being able to do something normal instead was quite a memorable treat. It wasn't pain free but there were bits when it hurt so little I forgot it did. I was very grateful indeed. And I give thanks for a message popping up when I got indoors as I just wanted to tell someone, you know?
I give thanks for wondering why one of my big boots were uncomfortable, taking them off expecting to find something stuck to my sock...and finding a penny inside the boot instead!
I give thanks my living room smells of dark hyacinths...I like their fragrance better than the pale...
I give thanks for the mad mid afternoon debauchery of cracking open two new packets of biscuits at the same time even though there's only me to eat them... Cheers folks!
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