Summer the first time

I give thanks ten years ago I went to Wimbledon for the first time. It was something I'd wanted to do for so long and made me quite emotional, but the as yet undiagnosed tumour was causing such horrible symptoms so it's a bittersweet memory too as I remember being on the receiving end of a lot of grief and gruffness with my constant need for the loo.

For the life of me I can't understand why the cancer and all its complications and consequences haven't been the death of me yet. I've often been told what I do and don't deserve so perhaps the slow torture of decline is some kind of cosmic karma for my many failings. I give thanks my many failings mean I largely struggle with this alone but sometimes I do envy those (sick or well) who have someone to give them a hand...especially when my own get so very sore. I give thanks for everyone who has someone to make them a cuppa or give them a hug when these things are sorely required.

I give thanks for planning a couple of days away from the challenges of household chores and non-moving woes before the challenges and woes of dialysis start. After dismissing most options as either physically or financially too demanding (if not both) I found a cheap and cheerful coach trip setting off from just down the road and thought though this is really not my kind of thing I could amuse myself while I was there instead going on included excursions. So today I rang up to book to find not only was the website not updated with the fact the holiday wasn't available...but they lied about the local pick up point so it would have been awkward anyway. Oh well, I give thanks for the bit where I thought I could take a break, and for sulkily getting back to the washing up...and emptying washing up water into buckets as the drain pipe is still blocked

I give thanks for finding a potato I'd forgotten I had - but not for so long it was inedible. That was definitely the best bit of this day...closely followed by eating it!