So yesterday was the tenth anniversary of the first anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer, when I met a few friends on the beach for fish and chips and to watch a stunning sunset up river. I give thanks for the memory...
I'd hoped it might become a regular thing (well you would wouldn't you?) but over estimated folks' interest in my continuing survival so it never actually happened again, though Clive once met me for a sit down fish supper instead, bless him. I give thanks for always quietly marking the occasion in some way though, with a little journey or treat, even if it's just inside my head. Usually I congratulate myself on how far I've come... but this time, well I felt such a wreck and as if I'm going backwards and it didn't cross my mind. I did give thanks for Jenny reminding me she sees me as strong and able to recover from things though, when she saw the state I was in. And for pretty little sunset clouds marbling the sky later on.
Later I gave thanks for some snatches of sleep, and for waking up rather pleasantly almost pain free, though I still groaned when I remembered I couldn't lie there and enjoy it but had to begin the slow processes of getting ready to go for dialysis. I give thanks for discovering, waiting for a late taxi that standing is a very bad idea... and that the chairs in the waiting room in the unit are very bad for bad backs indeed. I was very grateful for managing to get quite comfy in the treatment chair though so that I was quite sprightly when compared to how I clambered into it!
I give thanks for being home alone. It's blooming hard when you can't do the things you need to do to make yourself comfy, but at least you can get some important thinking done...
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