Treinta y ocho

I give thanks for my shower. I miss having baths but I'm scared at the moment if I got in I wouldn't get out! I did brave lying on the sofa for a while last night, but very nearly had to get the orange army to come inland with their mobile crane and rescue me! I give thanks for how much I enjoy watching their endeavours in the night. It cheers up dark sleepless hours of pain no end!

I give thanks for catching up with a documentary about a trans man who still had all the right bits and stopped taking testosterone to become able to have a baby. There are lots of people who have a lot to say about this kind of subject matter, but leaving aside the moral mountains we like to imagine ourselves atop of, I am perpetually fascinated by how the role of certain hormones in shaping 'masculine' and 'feminine' is revealed. I'm not talking about physical characteristics but the perception and processing of emotions, engagement, endurance etc - those aspects of 'other' gender that often perplex us may just be chemical reactions.

I give thanks for the bits when I was fairly mobile today and able to do a few useful things. It's all pretty tedious stuff, printing piles of bank statements for the part of the DWP that insists I'm too rich, beginning a carefully worded refutal of the assessment of another that I am too well, while trying to keep on top of the simplest self care. I was grateful for Jenny saying she'd pick up some prescriptions for me from Boots and even more so for thinking to meet her almost on my doorstep at the nice little cafe a few steps away. It was great to feel I was having a bit of a life still, and enjoy the sun on my skin...even though Jenny would have preferred to have been in shade herself, bless her. Luckily, despite the gorgeous weather the main season is over and there were lots of seats to be had so we could move around. And I give thanks for a gift of cake as well, as she had an excess at home and knew I'd been advised to fill up by the docs...