Probable

I give thanks for remaining fairly active, enthusiastic and of good cheer til well past midnight last night. It makes my drowsy frowzy gloomy state today seem more justified, though why we feel the need to justify such stuff is still a mystery to me. I give thanks the bright calm start to the day gradually changed to wetter and windier, not least as this was the weekend I'd originally booked to be away, not the next one when now I can't. Very little human contact had been part of the plan - solitary strolls and posh pot noodles in my hotel room - so I'm grateful for now thinking to take one of those pots to an extended hospital day tomorrow, in case it could meet hot water at any point between two consultations before an evening dialysis session. Of all the aspects of tomorrow that could concern me, I give thanks it's probably a healthy sign the one that concerns me most is the probable inadequacy of refreshment facilities!

I give thanks for trying to prepare myself for the likely news that for Covid safety reasons I must return to the unit where I don't feel safe or cared for in other ways, and remembering to be grateful for the more comfortable and companionable months I've enjoyed at my home base. For also remembering the idea of lockdown is that it saves lives (plus maybe Christmas activities for those for whom that is a special sociable time) and the disappointments and difficulties we are all going to face are side effects of getting used to getting what we want.

I give thanks for old episodes of QI and Just a Minute making me laugh, for making mosaic making me more content and for my kidney working better today so I can have another cup of tea.