My turn

I'm grateful I'm renowned for my resilience and resourcefulness. I'm grateful everyone knows I'll do it on my own or do without, and never mind compassion, even simple courtesy is something they can be very sparing with where I'm concerned because I'll always blame myself for a bad reaction if they act badly and I'd rather they had not. I'm not being sarcastic or ironic or passive aggressive here, I really do not aspire to be more assertive, or selfish or demanding as it seems to me there's plenty enough of that in the world as it is...plenty enough 'Me first! Give me more of what I want!' without adding any more 'What about me?'

I'm grateful for knowing it's a tricky slippy slope having your own way anyhow. You might be able to bend or buy or beat people to your will...but how can you win over time or tide or weather or decay, or inanimate objects that stonily resist your entreaties?

I'm grateful I've a lot more to learn, a lot more practice to do. I'm grateful I got that extension to complete my final dissertation at the school of life...

Sometimes, just like everyone else, I feel the need for a drink or a drug to deaden the pain, a hug or a handhold when I feel adrift in disappointment, to have a friend to turn to...or someone who seems to have authority, knowledge and power to make the bad things go away. But a weep is handy when I can't have those either. I give thanks for the release of tears.

Oh happy day

Some people, when they're suffering, they make everyone around them suffer too, don't they? Today I've been grateful there's no one around and I can get into a fight with fabric instead! I'm grateful, eventually, there was more sewn than unpicked but I needed a nap after that...and my hands were too tired to chop veg so Mr Tesco had to make tea. I'm very grateful he did...

I'm grateful I found out they've discontinued a scenic bus route I planned to go on tomorrow. Although it's made me sad today, it'd have been awful to have found out (thinking I was) en route tomorrow. And actually I'm so tired and achey at the moment it's possible even sitting still and watching pretty parts of the world go by might have been too strenuous for me.

I'm grateful for hearing about the anti-racist campaign where people take pictures of themselves eating bananas after some football fans response to some players http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-trending-27191333 

I'm grateful one of the reasons I'm so fatigued was that I did go to choir yesterday evening, which I knew wasn't going to be the usual practice...but a gospel singing workshop! Oh happy day indeed, although we didn't actually sing that... There are some very highly technically musically trained folk among our number who, I think, missed the debates about the exact length of hemidemisemiquaver rests and the precise deceleration to a rallentando but most of us simple sopranos loved the opportunity to have a good old sing of easy words and melodies, without the encumbrance of a score. For me it was especially delightful not to have to try to hold a score, and turn the pages, and to be on the same page experiencewise as everybody else in the room. And I love those African harmonies, they are buried somewhere deep in my mitochondria because we all come from there, you know...even football fans!

I'm grateful for Tesco apple, peach and pear juice...lovely combination!

Stock still

I'm grateful for getting rather more done this morning than I thought I would do. Often the little chores we keep putting off are far less hassle to our bodies than we've built them up to be in our minds when we finally get round to them...

I'm grateful for deliveries of various things, including groceries to stock up the fridge and shelves.

I'm grateful for a cab to deliver me to Knit and Natter this afternoon, where there was much natter and laughter though not a lot of knitting done! I'm grateful they bring us a cup of tea and a biscuit...it's such a treat for me to be waited on and there were bluebells on the tray.

I'm grateful for a long, still rest when I got home...

I'm grateful for the determination to get to choir later, though it's hard to imagine moving again just now!

Location, location

Having given thanks for ear plugs that fit, I have to be grateful for fitting them in my ears - a task requiring the kind of fine motor skills and co-ordination that neurological damage can make a tad tricky. Sometimes I have to try over and over again to get them in right but on a Saturday night, when there's usually someone in the neighbourhood having an alcohol fuelled shout of anguish or delight, it's worth persevering!

I give thanks for sewing a bit more of my mosaic dress. Progress is slow, because I am slow at the moment, due to all of the above plus stiff joints and muscles and droopy eyelids, so that keeping on top of essentials takes up a lot of the waking day. But I'm grateful to have a project on the go that requires a bit of slowness, for pattern matching and hand sewing here and there, to provide some variety and break up the monotony of housework, TV, reading and sleep. 

I'm grateful for the stunning contrasts of spring green leaves against storm grey sky, for the graduated contrasts of shades of blue on the sea, and for the sound of the rain...also for it being warm enough to have the windows open to listen!

Cream crackered

The last twenty four hours or so I've been grateful for all the times I've wanted to do anything quiet (meditate, snooze, read in the bath) and all neighbours within earshot of the relevant part of my flat have been out or doing something quiet themselves.

Also last night for having a real yen for cheddar on cream crackers for supper and, while in the kitchen wondering what I could have instead (as I don't really like cream crackers much and only have them in at Christmas), realising I had an unopened tin of 'biscuits for cheese' left over from that very season! 

A couple of weeks ago I'd made tentative plans to go on a scenic moor bus ride with a friend today but as it's been one of those days when even getting to the kitchen to make a cuppa seems like a major expedition, I'm grateful she'd already backed out so I didn't have to let her down. I'm grateful everyone I know has plenty of interaction with partners/pets/friends/family members...otherwise they might miss me! And I'm grateful for understanding that those who are not missed and easily slip to the bottom of other people's 'to do' list, play a vital role in the emotional economy by freeing up time for folk to spend on those who matter to them most.

I give thanks for a restful day, for remembering it's OK to have them and for a few little bits of sewing here and there...and for the changing light and colours in the sea and sky as the storm crept up and then passed over.

I give thanks for the lovely comment from Malizabet on yesterday's post showing that once in a while by blog does exactly what it's meant to!

Spring leaning

I give thanks for an early night, and I give thanks for earplugs that fit which sure do help if folk around you don't want one too!

I give thanks that the usual post 'exercise' stiffness, aches and cramps have not been as bad as they might be, though my tiredness knows no (leaps or) bounds and I had to have a nap after merely restuffing the last two cushions back in their new cases leaving them pinned and unleanonable for a while. I give thanks that I've finished sewing them up now and can move on to something else. More pudding and another nap perhaps?

And although I didn't (yet?) get round to making simnel cake, I give thanks that I went to get a new bag of flour on Easter Saturday in case I would, and it is the tastiest lightest flour I've ever had. I always use self raising wholemeal for everything whether it's technically right or wrong, and usually get Allinson's because that's what Tesco deliver but the health food shop had Doves Farm organic and I shall be going there again! This afternoon it made me a fluffy crisp topped raspberry and apple Eve's pudding that I'm finding it very hard to leave alone after two servings. A chopped up sad Granny Smith and some frozen berries lightly sugared and cooked in the oven and the resulting juice tipped into the sponge mixture which made it slightly mauve and deliciously tangy...

I give thanks for these incredibly poetic photos of snails. Yes, really...trust me, you will never look at molluscs in quite the same way!
http://twistedsifter.com/2014/04/snail-portraits-by-vyacheslav-mischenko/

Vision of loveliness

I'm grateful to Jenny for cleaning my windows so I can see out...

I'm grateful to various medical professionals for attempting to correct my vision so that what I see when I do is the same as everyone else - physically that is, I'm perfectly happy with the way I 'see' things in other ways! I'm grateful they've decided to 'watch and wait' the strange things going on rather than call in MRI machines and so on at this stage.

I'm grateful for a list of materials for a craft project in a magazine in the waiting room that said you'd need: 'A computer (or a marker pen)'

I'm grateful I got to the appointment despite some inaccurate information from various sources you might think might get it right such as 'traveline' and the local TIC (who probably got their information from traveline because they all drive cars and don't need to know about buses and things). I'm grateful some forty minutes of the five hour twenty minute round trip was spent on frivolities like refreshments and shopping rather than waiting, and travelling and various sight tests...  And that I went into a shop I'd never been to before and bought exactly what I'd gone in there to buy...even though I'd checked on line and seen they didn't sell it! Psychic shopping eh? And, as predicted, I'm very grateful that I made my tea for tonight last night and it's bubbling away on the stove.

I'm grateful for some pretty views, blossom snow and someone giving me their seat on the train...

Some you Wynette

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman...a woman committed to coming up with five things to be grateful for every day! Sometimes I notice so many I don't know where to begin, or end, recording them...but other days it's hard not to list complaints instead. Sometimes I'd like extra oxytocin in the form of a hug and someone to make some tea...and then I'm very grateful that this is what I've chosen to do because if there's no one to hug you and bring you tea you do need a good alternative plan.

Today I was grateful for a very long lie in...though I did get up and get tea and other light refreshments, of course! And I was grateful a courier rang me to take in someone's parcel as this spurred me to get (sort of) dressed.

I was grateful for almost an hour running at almost full speed and with little pain so that I could get a few overdue necessities done, including sorting some paperwork. I was grateful that a) I don't have a shredder and b) I like jigsaws as I tore up some things I shouldn't...

I'm grateful for sorting out some more unwanted possessions and for continuing to search for a charity that will collect them. So far they all say no, they'll collect furniture but not several bags of clothes, books and household items. It's comforting to know if I hang on to the stuff til I die they do do house clearance! I understand there are many very reasonable logistic and financial reasons why socially isolated and physically limited folk can't be assisted in donating their goods but it does seem a tad ironic, don't you think?

I'm grateful for making two suppers...one for tonight and one for tomorrow as there were various things needing using up and they didn't go together. Tomorrow I've a long trek to the hospital and back and I'll be so grateful there's something ready to eat!

Appliance of not much science

Yesterday evening I gave thanks the sea was a particular colour I associate with sunset and even more so when there was one! By then my tea was ready so I took no photos and you'll just have to take my word for it, though I did take a couple just as the sun sank behind the hill because it's that special time of year - late enough to see it without leaning out of the window but early enough not to be obscured by leaves.

My thoughts about sea colour and sunset are not based on any known scientific fact (ie. not known by me) but don't dismiss the musings of a trainee weather god. As a young child playing outdoors I noticed that the wind blew the leaves upside down just before it rained and spent the ensuing years til almost old ladyhood (ie. last year) mentioning this to people under the assumption that they must know about it too...but everyone looked at me blankly. Then, at last, I saw a TV programme explaining that this does happen and why (ie. sudden change in humidity) and is particularly associated with particular kinds of trees such as maples and poplars...so I guess everyone else was looking at different ones!

You may notice a correlation between things that has not/cannot/will not be proved as in this story I found fascinating about leaded/unleaded petrol and the crime rates...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-27067615

Or you may be a creature that survives by following natural law and fact by instinct and experience rather than having a learned human confirm it's true...as shown in the beautifully filmed 24hrs on Earth documentary I saw last night. I give thanks for HD TV...

I give thanks for all the cheery folk who greeted me on the way to and from my appointment, and for it being timed at high tide so I could watch a tanker coming in before getting the shopping. I give thanks for a necessarily dozy afternoon afterwards. And, in need of tiger balm rubbed in my back to continue beating this bug, I give thanks for ingeniously creating an applicator from an old spatular, a thumb bandage, a rubber glove and an elastic band!

Consider it done

I know a woman whose husband wakes up in the morning and...calm yourselves ladies!...refines his plans for what he'll make for dinner that night. Every day. 'What do you do while he's cooking?' I asked, 'Oh, go on the internet or crochet or something', she said. When I try to imagine this it's like trying to imagine something in a fairy tale. You know, there's a pink unicorn trotting across a fairy bridge or a tower with a princess's plait reaching down to the ground. Maybe it's because to me it would be like being a child again, though in a good way. I give thanks she told me because I like to go to that place in my head where you're doing something you like and someone calls 'Dinner's ready!' Lovely feeling...

On the other hand recently I encountered something that set my mind on a downward spiral, and found I was looking around for something to lift my spirits up again... before I remembered it was me that had lowered them, not the situation, and it was me who would raise them up. Phew, much thanks for that! It's so easy to go off on a negative mental journey isn't it, and layer on unhappy imaginings for the future or miserable memories of the past...or guilt...or anger...or fear...or blame...? I'm grateful I know not to, even if I sometimes forget.

The other day I was wondering what I could read next about the history of things we take for granted. I was drying up at the time (a process also known as dropping cutlery) and found myself considering the fork on the floor and wondering how it had got there (apart from the obvious escape from my feeble clutches) so I give thanks for finding this well written and informative book. I give thanks for the internet and Amazon...

I give thanks for a new series of Come Dine with Me. Well, new to me anyhow. Dave Lamb just gets funnier!

Raining on my parade

Humongous thanks for a dark and rainy day today, ideal for not doing anything springlike or Easter orientated but giving my body lots of opportunity to fight off an infection... and to remember to say this is what I'm doing not 'going down with something', an altogether far more pessimistic expression. Gratitude too for quite a nip in the air so I've been able to snuggle up under a throw and snooze.

I've been grateful I've no one to bring me a light diet to my invalid chair so that I've done a few other bits and bobs when I've been up and about catering and cleaning, including starting to make another cushion cover out of some 'ragbag' scraps. I put the bits by the sewing machine last night knowing it would encourage me to get up to cut and sew them...and, as that worked, I've pressed it and put it together with the lace so I'll want to attach it tomorrow! I'm grateful I know how to tempt myself into action when energy is low.

Ragbag isn't really an adequate expression for my quantity of fabric leftovers but I'm also giving thanks they are now almost all sorted and appropriately stored which gives me an increasingly calm comfortable feeling the more I do.

I'm grateful for making some very nice pancakes with some new flour I've not tried before. Lots of lemon juice for the vitamin C and a spoonful of demerara to help the medicine go down!

I'm grateful for finishing two good books and starting two more...

I give thanks that buying that little tray and mug the other day has encouraged me to make myself more tea in a pot and serve it with a pretty little milk jug I have which makes me feel rather pampered and special...

I'm grateful for a sliver of peachy pink cloud amongst the grey this evening...

Cushioning the blow

I give thanks for getting my earplugs in so snugly last night they didn't fall out in the bed. Sometimes a little insulation is required...

I give thanks for deciding I ought to go out today to try and buy a couple of things, partly because I wanted the things but also because a four day holiday can feel like one hundred years of solitude and it's good to feel you have a mission. Also I was very stiff and sore this morning and it doesn't improve for lying about thinking about it...

I give thanks for the wintry wind blowing wafts of spring flower fragrance from the gardens on the lane and that, though my snuggliest clouts are in the process of being stashed away for a few months, there are still some cosy things around to wear...

I give thanks for various sortings out going on about the place so that there's piles of things in every room. I love tidy but can put up with untidy for a while to achieve this aim, though I'd be even more grateful if I could be a bit quicker about it with less rests and recuperation required in between sessions. I'm grateful I've come across some fabric scraps that could make some more new cushion covers in the process though and that's spurred me on to finish a couple already started. I was wearing the dress that the one on the right is leftovers from as I stitched up the opening and that was rather strange on the eyes...

When I used to make cushion covers to sell I did proper opening with zips or whatever, but for myself I tend to just do three and a bit sides on the machine and hand sew up the gap to undo again for changing. I've been doing this for many years and sometimes what's underneath the top cover is a trip down memory lane. I'm grateful when it's a pleasant one!

Little gems

Hmm...let me see...

Today I've been grateful for waking up...

...and (after some time) getting up...

...and (after less time) going back to bed...

I'm grateful for a nap and another go at the day...sometimes a restart is required, as you know...

I'm grateful for bedside lamps and tables...what splendid ideas they are.

I'm grateful for making a brie and red grape salad with warm new potatoes lightly buttered and mayonnaised. It's one of my fail safe meals if I've not much of an appetite. I start out thinking I'll have just a little bit...and then go to help myself to a little bit more...and end up scoffing the lot! Oh, and I'm grateful for finding some organic sprouting broccoli the other day and having some for yesterday's supper. I adore this stuff, whatever the colour! 

I'm grateful I got the lace on the top bottom...and I'm grateful, as ever, for my creative energy. There's always far more of it than the other kind now, but just as the urge to see what was over another horizon always spurred me on when I went walking, I'm always keen to find out what the next row, the next seam, change of colour or placement of lace will reveal. And I'm very, very grateful I have so many years of experience of various needlecrafts and can perform some actions 'almost in my sleep', as they say, as it's no longer metaphorical with me. Artists' brains have been shown to be differently formed - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-26925271 - and mine is too. Some neural networks are made of crochet, and grey matter extended with gathers and godets!

Shedding clouts

I'm grateful the may is out and we can shed some clouts.

I'm grateful (though mystified) that I found a section of beach almost totally deserted today. It was between two groynes, and also between two sets of slopes/steps that maybe somehow channeled people in two opposite directions, but whatever the reason it meant that I could enjoy a peaceful and spacious sit down with a cuppa. It was warm enough in the sun to roll up my sleeves and my trouser legs for the first time this year. Much gratitude for that too.

I'm grateful for snapping up a freshly priced clout in a charity shop before it even got onto the rail. It's unusual to find a ready made non-stretchy garment that fits both my body and my mind and this one isn't quite right, but nothing removing some elastic an adding some lace wouldn't cure. I'm grateful I have just the perfect lace for the job in my drawer and look forward to what should be a quick and simple creative task as I've not reached completion in anything for a while, and much as I love the doing I also love the done, especially it it's something for me and I'm waiting to wear it...

I'm grateful to lovely Linda at the surgery for her friendliness and the offer of a bit of sticky tape for an envelope that wouldn't stick, to Luders for more of their delicious eggs and for the delight on the faces of the ladies at the Fountain when they unwrapped and ate them...

I'm grateful for picking up the frozen and chilled veggie treats from Waitrose I'd promised myself when I'd defrosted the freezer. Not sure if I'll get round to trying them later as I discovered they also sell wholemeal hot cross buns and now I'm rather full! I'm grateful I'm going to shed even more clouts shortly and slither into a fragrant Lush bath after ordering some melty things on line.

Walls and doors

Can you tell what it is yet? It's a lot less of a dress than I thought it would be by now, and a lot less of a dress than it seems to be from the photo since there's pins and tacking going on, and even some seams that only seem to be at this stage! There are garments that almost seem to make themselves while you're in the other room with a book and a cuppa and a biscuit or two but this is not one of those. It feels as I've done more unpicking than sewing so far...surely that can't be right?

I'm always setting myself little goals to aim for, and perseverance challenges and this afternoon I told myself I'd just keep going til the Tesco man came, but I hit a wall of tiredness and fingerly incompetence beyond which I could not go and gave great thanks that I stopped...especially when I just had a text saying that he'd been delayed.

Despite the bright sunshine, there's been a ferocious and freezing wind the last twenty four hours so I give thanks that I've been indoors most of the day, though not entirely these ones. This morning, by taxi, train and bus, I went to see an exhibition of wild life photography that was very much worth the visit and absurdly exhausting effort. I give thanks for the astonishingly movingly beautiful images, the clever folk that produced them...and the clever planet...

I gave thanks for the pretty scenery on the way, the haze and sparkle and all the yellowy greens, and I was grateful I saw my neighbours on the train and knew not to ring their bell for help when the main door key just went round and round in the lock when I got home. Much gratitude for another neighbour trying to assist, and a delivery driver actually succeeding!

Bright and breezy

All this week I've been giving thanks for the brightness of the moon, but forgetting to say so on here. I love it when it seems to peep in at you through a chink in the curtains!

Last night I also forgot to share my gratitude for two unusual things I saw when I was out. The first was a man on crutches get on to the bus with two children who rushed to go upstairs. 'Wait!' he called to the eldest, 'Come and take my crutches.' And he handed her the crutches at the bottom of the straits and then hopped up them on his good foot using the handrails for support. Everyone was most impressed! The second was a light aircraft flying in a circle over the town before looping the loop and flying off...there was something in the engine sound that caught my attention and I was very grateful it did just before I went into the ladies' loo!

Today I've been giving thanks for a fresh and breezy day, which I would have been very happy to go out in but which was less miserable to miss than a warmer one. I give thanks for all the whipped up white wave tops on the deep blue sea. And for getting the freezer defrosted. This is almost all I've done today due to all the ice ages since I did it last and the bergs inside the door. Not that it took all day - obviously you have to work faster than that if you've food taken out waiting to go back in but it was such a physical task hurrying it along rather than let it drip that it pretty much used up all my energy and pain tolerance. I give thanks for my gritty perseverance...and a long bubbly soak in the bath afterwards to stop me trying to achieve anything else, though I did hold a book and do some reading. Much thanks for that!

Knit picking

Today I've been grateful for getting up, and even more so for eventually getting outdoors for sometimes the flesh is very weak...

I'm grateful for easy things to cook, and for eating some of them...

I'm grateful for an ice cream on the beach and a cup of tea and a biscuit at the library to fill in any gaps...and for a bit of knit and natter

I'm grateful for a lift home, and the offer of a lift to choir too though I'm too tired to go...and for a nap instead

I'm grateful for getting the washing up done, and for a washing machine to get the washing done for me

Chop chop

I give thanks for my comfy new mattress supporting me through another acheful night. This is a bit like someone saying 'There, there dear' and giving you a hug, I imagine... tho obviously I don't know for sure. It's nothing like someone saying 'Shall I make you a cup of tea?', I'm quite certain of that, though I gratefully made myself three this morning before I finally got up and got dressed...

I give thanks for the way bubbles join up and get smaller to make froth and for the sight of white sails on blue water...and for chopping the veg for tonight's veg in instalments so there's strength left in my arms to shake the pan and stir!

I give thanks for having a bit more of an appetite and inclination to cook...though this does mean more washing up! I give thanks for all my plates and dishes and mugs and pans and cutlery, for running hot water, draining plugholes and squeezy detergent...how lucky are we, eh?

I give thanks for my other vase of flowers...

Rhubarb rhubarb

I'm grateful for deciding to have an early night with a pile of books last night...even though I fell asleep before opening a single one...

And for getting up early (for me) after I figuring I'd be grateful on Monday if I'd been to the PO today.

I'm grateful for light cloud and breeze making the sea a pale and still flat blue, and for finding a patch of mended sea wall to enjoy it peaceably...after the world, his wife, the kids, their granny and the dog had all passed by. And for a takeaway cappuccino even cheaper than my denim jacket!

I'm grateful for the creative process - completing (I think) a bit more of the latest fabric jigsaw although I don't know yet quite what the picture is or what shape all the pieces will be...

And for finding both local rhubarb and reduced price cream in my travels... crumble for tea I'm thinking!

Bunched up

I give thanks for a pleasant day feeling the pain and doing it anyway...I'm grateful for some enjoyable things to do as they always hurt less than the others somehow.

I give thanks for a pretty cross-stitched Easter card, plus a belated birthday card, gift and lots of lovely flowers - this is just one of two full vases. Added to a drive out for tea and cake at a vineyard cafe with sea and countryside views enjoyed from the decking tables this gave the afternoon a rather celebratory air so I give thanks for that as well... A week that starts like Christmas and finishes like a birthday eh? Can't be bad, especially if you've had the normal ones aleady!

I give thanks for the mild and sunny spring weather...warm enough to wear my 99p denim jacket and to marvel at advanced state of growth in the hedgerows. This time last year it was winter coats and hats all round and chunky remnants of snow drifts still piled up on Cleeve Hill...

I give thanks that Mr Waitrose's contribution to my supper yesterday was so tasty I ate it all even though my appetite's not so good just now and there was more than I thought I could manage. I give thanks for Mr Tesco giving a hand tonight as I'm trying to clear out the freezer before a defrost. I'm grateful I have this excuse!

Pin drop

I give thanks for the stripes of sparkly sunlight on the sea....

...and for the sound of trains!

For a warm spring morning...and for a cooler cloudier afternoon of people indoors and windows shut. One cannot always share one's neighbours' taste in music, or children.

Although it's mean and unworthy of me I give thanks for hearing the priciest homes in Britain are blighted by hen and stag party hires nearby. Locals sometimes look askance when I say where I live but I point out a) it's cheap and b) somewhere more upmarket does not guarantee classiness or calm behaviour.

I give thanks for starting a quick sewing job that quickly went wrong so that I could abandon it for a much slower one much more suited to my physical capabilities today...lots of long straight seams and long thinks about construction.

I give thanks for a phone call that wasn't for a different number, a different name, or for me regarding a medical matter, but actually from a friend about meeting up!

I give thanks Mr Waitrose said he'd make supper again...better go give him a hand.

Pictures of the day

I give thanks for twistedsifter.com for their fabulous Pictures of the Day and for them tempting me to horizons new. I couldn't actually imagine getting to any in the state I'm in at the moment but then I thought if I could just get myself outdoors to see the ones I know I'd probably feel mentally better, and despite the considerable physical effort, this certainly was true.

I'm grateful I beat the clouds to the beach, and for all the handrails and seats that helped me. And I'm grateful for all the things I saw below the horizon that made me smile, including Spanish bluebells under the trees - pink and white and blue, a young setter swimming and a  corgi cross creating a crater in the sand by digging with its front legs while circling with the back ones...and a man moving gingerly along straddling the church roof apex.

I give thanks or friendly folk around and about and having to queue at the cafe for a toastie as it's good to see them busy when they're at the end of the navigable seafront walk until the repairs are done.

I give thanks for Luders mini eggs. They're about an inch long, wrapped in different coloured foil and made with different chocolate and flavours of filling. You buy them by weight and I might take a sack next time! And for all the happy hippy food at Waitrose for when even making lentil stew is beyond me, today I got pilau rice with vegetables in, bombay potato and spinach falafels because they were all reduced in the chill cabinet. In their freezer range they've a nut roast wellington with butternut squash and goats' cheese filling. This might not taste as good as it sounds but I give thanks I'll probably find out before long.

Floss adjustment

All that consumerism yesterday has left me somewhat consumed by pain and fatigue, so I was especially grateful when I climbed in the bath...and had a go at replacing some sealant which had become detached. I'd been pep talking myself into trying to do this myself for months and it was becoming urgent that someone did so I reckoned best idea was to attempt it and then pay someone else to if I failed. It couldn't be that hard I figured, no particular strength or nimbleness required and I still had the smoothing tool left over from when I did some tiling and grouting a few years back. Well, several of them if you count both hands! 

Potentially the hardest part was finding a hand squeeze tube of sealant instead of one of those plunger things I know I can't operate, but I came across some of that in a Wilkinson's one day. I give thanks for Wilkinson's filling that town centre diy gap left when Woolworth's closed. We have a couple of great little hardware shops here and I use them a lot but they can't carry everything and not everyone has an easy way of getting to those big out of town stores. I also give thanks for all the times you don't need a particular tool or piece of a equipment at all, just imagination and ingenuity. Recently I've found alternative uses for both a folding chair and an empty washing up bottle, and realised if you have gappy teeth you don't need special dental floss, just multiple strands  will do...

In reality the actual squeezing was quite hard for me and meant I couldn't do much else with my hands for the rest of the day so at least they matched the rest of by body. I've been grateful for half made meals - half by me and half by someone in a factory somewhere who probably had no idea how helpful they were being. Also for getting the first of the new 'spring greens' cushion covers finished - a soothingly simple task requiring little in the way of manipulation or mental arithmetic. The dotty cotton is on the back so they don't slip and slide about and there's a 'pillow' surface ready for urgent naps...

Christmas day

Christmas comes but once a year...but what does it matter with days like today, coming home from town after collecting two reserved library books, two new ones from Amazon, the replacement fabric ordered last week (plus some extra bits for new cushion covers), some samples of some things I won't explain but which might make aspects of my personal care more comfortable, fruit and veg, thread, a huge gooey chocolate brownie and a denim jacket I won on ebay for 99p!

I give thanks for a taxi to help me carry it all home, and for the rain drying up while I was out so gathering it all before before the taxi wasn't as awkward as it might have been, and I'm only tired not wet as well.

I'm grateful I've tried on the jacket (and that it fits!) and eaten the cake so I know not to buy one of those again or it won't. I'm grateful that everything else can wait as long as I like and dozing in front of the TV is next on the agenda because Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a nap, would it? I give thanks for a good natter at knit and this afternoon, and for the dustmen taking away our rubbish and even leaving the bins in a tidy row this morning.

Spectrum

I've been giving thanks for a day of even murkier weather - miserable some might call it but happy enough for those who don't feel well enough to go out...

I'm grateful for all I've achieved in little instalments including sewing some small pieces of fabric together and cooking a large cauliflower cheese!

I give thanks for a documentary with interesting insights about some aspects of autism from earlier in the week. I was even grateful I completely failed both triangle tests as, despite the expert's assertion that if you think you're a little bit autistic you probably aren't, and they don't give a diagnosis unless they think there's a benefit to doing so, there are some for whom a label saying 'spectrum' would be very helpful, I believe. Those who are upset by unexpected honesty, for a start, or disconcerted by silence when there's an awareness a social lie is expected but no skill in producing one. Even more so though for those who lack that skill and are chastised or ostracised under the assumption they are being deliberately rude, unkind or controversial. If it were better understood who couldn't help it, there maybe wouldn't be so much being rude or unkind back.

I give thanks for this eye-opening article on the effects of the 'missionary position' - further evidence of the trickiness of assumptions...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-26873149

And for these pictures of a local moonbow http://www.atoptics.co.uk/opod.htm

Arts and crafts...

...and not a lot of movement! I give thanks for getting plenty of rest today, and for the ideal day to receive it - grey and murky and deliciously dozily quiet all around. It was great to be out and about in some sunshine yesterday but this weather is just right for recuperation.

I'm also grateful for, as is often the way when you have no plans for achieving anything, doing a few small useful odds and ends here and there...including unpacking the china mug and small plastic tray I bought myself yesterday. I'm aware of the somewhat oxymoronic nature of purchasing mass produced William Morris style - and give thanks that I don't care a bit! It's pretty and affordable and I reckon I've done at least my share of promoting the individually designed and handcrafted over the years, don't you? Plus it was bought in a market hall. End of.

I give thanks for watching the budlets budding, raindrops dripping down and the inside of my eyelids...

...and documentaries - my staple TV diet - including a fascinating and beautifully constructed Arena two parter on Brian Epstein and an old Weird Nature about (voluntary) animal drug use. This appears to be largely self medicating with the enjoyment of the side effects just a bonus for some and it seems that the drink stealing vervet monkeys in St Kitts have similar population proportions of alcohol users, abusers and teetotallers as humans do. I'm not sure if this is something I should be grateful about but the symmetry was pleasing nonetheless...

Since sliced bread

I give thanks for the colourfulness of yesterday evening. The latter part of Thursdays are often 'enhanced' courtesy of the post acupuncture legal high, but the yellow light on the branches and leaves when the sun broke through just before setting was almost as if the mimosa was blooming again, and then the sea went from icy blue to rosy pink and the clouds were first gold and then magenta...and it was all real! Well, as real as any colours are anyhow...

So, what is right with this picture? Exactly the same thing that is wrong with it actually - it's taken from a moving train! I've been grateful for quite a few things in the last twenty four hours but the relief of having our local line working both ways to everywhere tops it all. I'd not planned to use it today as I thought it would be stupidly busy, but for various reasons it turned out it actually suited me best to do so, and I gave thanks to be part of the (mostly) happy bunch of sardines negotiating the media circus either to get where we wanted to go, or just to be part of it.

I'm grateful for getting my favourite handmade hat back after leaving it in a cafe a long way away by buses. And for the lightest piece of gluten free cake I think I've ever had - chocolate, apricot, almond and delicious. For pretty views, fresh as if new, for all the lush blossom around and for a visit to a little indoor market which had one or two items I hoped it would and a couple that couldn't have been further from my mind but which I couldn't leave town without!

And I give thanks that in my constant quest for good bread I came across a small seeded spelt in a baker's shop. I'll try one of those I said, and they replied...would you like us to slice it for you?

Pinterest

I give thanks for the pin spot patterns of rain drops on window panes. I cannot imagine how many times in life I've seen these but I'm always captivated...

I'm grateful to Silvana for taking my blood so gently today, and for our usual non medical chit chat. Also to all the folk in the businesses around this little town who make doing business here so pleasant. Even that the Co-op didn't have my favourite rye mix bread again because they did have a hot cross bun loaf which does exactly what it says on the tin...

I give thanks that the small pieces of rather expensive new fabric I bought to go with the cheap fabric I ruined have arrived, that they look lovely with the little snippet of the budget one I had preserved...and particularly that the shop says they have more of this and will send me some. I'm grateful it wasn't the one that the colour ran on of course! The pricey ones are from a range called Henna and just too beautiful to resist even though one has to resist buying a lot, though the piece on the right is a cut price remnant so I'm grateful for eking out the pennies there too. I will 'mix and match' as they say, though it's a phrase that does niggle on my nerves. I've just realised it has a lot in common with that academic chestnut question starter 'contrast and compare' which I'm not much fond of either, though I'm grateful for noticing the coincidence.

I give thanks for how prettily presented and packaged many on line craft purchases are now, so that you feel rather as if you are getting a gift; in fact sometimes you do - a little bit of ribbon or lace or a sweet. You can be as cynical as you like about why the sellers do this, but I love it when they do, so it's working!

Now you don't see it

I gave great thanks for the rain this morning; all that spring sunshine's all well and good, but when you want to be outside but don't feel up to getting yourself there it can be rather frustrating and feel like a waste of good weather.  And I'm grateful on behalf of people who have their own bit of outside and are growing things as it was probably welcomed by them too.

I'm grateful for having a brainwave in the bath last night when I was trying to work out the best way to make a part of a garment I had in my head. I was thinking it would be best to have a trial run (or two, or more) and wondering what fabric I could use for that...and then realised the stuff I spent hours ruining yesterday would be ideal for the job as it's only the pattern and colour that's destroyed not the actual cloth, which is exactly the kind of weave and weight I'd use for sewing the real thing (funnily enough). Not that I've done that you understand - it's not been a day when I've done a great deal, but I've been grateful a) that I didn't have to and b) that what I did do didn't go horribly wrong...

No pictures again today because I've almost finished a nightie but it doesn't seem right to upload a photo of that somehow, and outside there's just the same haze as where you are I expect - not very photogenic. I'm grateful I've had a bit more of an appetite today, and that I've put a bit more effort into making the food...well, apart from the chocolate - I just put that straight in my mouth!

Trying trying again

I give thanks for more practice in non-attachment, particularly to particular outcomes...that's always a tricky one isn't it? Today the very fabric of the universe has failed to meet my expectations - well the fabric of it in my flat anyhow! I've been having a long running difference of opinion with some jersey which has refused to cut out straight, so before I laid myself open to the potential dramas of trying to sew the truculent stuff I thought I'd wash some new flat woven, well behaved cotton before starting using that. I wash by hand at first to see how the colour runs, and one of them it ran and ran but eventually seemed OK to put in the machine with one of those colour run stopping sachets...but it still tinted two other new pieces. So I mixed up some of that some of that oh no, colour run's happened anyway stuff, and tried test pieces on the affected cloth and it looked fine. And so I then mixed up at proper batch of solution, but I don't know if it was too hot or too strong but now both are completely ruined for anything but something you don't see like a cushion lining. Why is this a source of gratitude - well, because it was just a couple of half metres of neither costly nor irreplaceable material...and that I did all this before making it into a garment, of course!

I'm also grateful because I gave something a go, I tried to do something rather than let feeling rubbish lead me to just lie around thinking about that. Similarly for going to choir last night because it didn't make the physical pain any worse and did actually improve my mood. And I'm grateful my warped sense of humour is back because since then the catalogue of domestic mishaps that have plagued me the last couple of days (there've been far more than I've mentioned on here) are beginning to amuse me again rather than make me feel put upon by life. Life just is...it's not doing anything to you personally.

I give thanks that I'm now going to try eating a small meal, as I've had not any appetite today and yesterday, only nibbled small bites of this and that. And for once I'm grateful that nothing on my plate is made from scratch so that if I don't end up eating it at least I've only wasted food, not energy as well.