Amazed

Some days I'm truly amazed by my energy and motivation, how active I am and how much I manage to get done. I'm so grateful I can defy all the many medical odds like this! And then there are days like today when it's that other version of myself that amazes me - it's nigh on impossible to imagine being her, let alone some close to her achievements...as even the easiest tasks are so wearying and painful. I give thanks there wasn't anything very urgent on the to do list, but it's a shame I find messily unfinished tasks so mentally uncomfortable and disruptive to relaxing or I'd have done a good deal more of that.

I give thanks for the cloudy morning which helped with encouraging restful slowness...and later, when the sun came out and I wanted to be too, for discovering if I turn a blind eye to the chaos of abandoned decorating tasks in the spare room and open the rickety window wide at the right time of day, I can sit beside the lettuces with rays beaming down on me through the gap and it feels rather like having a garden! I give thanks for receiving a very reasonable quote for new front windows. Doing this will feel a lot safer doing this with sturdy new frames and hinges, I just need to get hold of one of the team to progress the order - easier said than done with many of them still on furlough. Meanwhile I'm grateful for hearing the home help service is gearing up to restart soon. My monetary affluence will suffer, but my time wealth and wellbeing will be enriched...