Fighting chance

When I wrote last night about not giving up the fight I wasn't referring to the cancer fight and it was only reading it again that I realised that you might think it was. I was talking about the fight(s) with the freeholder of the building where my flat regarding his obligations as such. Adequately lit communal areas and no running water that isn't from a tap would seem to anyone but him to be reasonable requests but he makes me (and anyone else who I get to back me up such as CAB, MP and Environmental Health) right to the wire every time. Legal proceedings are lengthy and expensive and he knows my resources of health and wealth are limited and I think he assumes I will give up one way or another sooner or later but over the last couple of days I have come to the decision that even though I prefer avoiding conflict and stress (and typing and phone calls!) and would prefer to devote my time to crafts and contemplation and blogging and watching TV...the fact that I am poor and in poor health actually makes justice even more important not less. The vulnerable rarely have a strong enough voice to have access to the same care and attention as those who are more able. It's not really about me (for I am able to 'rise above it'), or the people who come after who may or not have the wherewithal to kick ass) but about doing the right thing again and the right thing is to not give up the fight because it is about right. And not to fight with bitterness or anger because that is wrong. I have skills that can still be used I reckoned and if I die in the process well it's for a worthy cause...

Well anyway, the phone rang this morning and at first I thought the woman on the other end said she was 'Rhian' the solicitor I was speaking to yesterday and then I realised it was 'Karen' the urology nurse who I'd asked to send me another Luer lock connector (you don't need to know!). She was ringing to say she was sending me one and to say the MDT was reviewing my case. My case had been in the On the Way Out Tray for some while as you know til blessed Dr Galli got hold of it. When I was told last summer my primary bladder tumour had shrunk Rachel, my acupuncturist, (bless her too!) had said 'Ooh, maybe you can have it out then'. I'd not thought of it like that and I'd kind of scratched my chin and wondered. I mentioned it to Dr Galli and he was rather taken aback but agreed that as the reason they weren't going to was because they thought my cancer was spreading ferociously whereas it now seems to be static or in retreat it was a reasonable question. So he put it to the urology team and they said...well you know you might be right, come and have some more scans and checks and we'll have a chat. No chemo? I asked. No, we promise...no chemo she said. (For new readers this is not cos I'm chicken but because it actually tried to kill me!) Now I don't want to get over excited about this as we will have to see what transpires but if they could remove my bladder I would have a urostomy not a neprostomy. Now a urostomy is a chap like a colostomy...it is designed for you to carry on with a pretty normal life afterwards. You can, I'm crying at the thought, do wet things like proper baths and swimming! You don't have to have a wire rattling around in a sensitive organ and a tube that has become a holiday home for viruses. Can you imagine the luxury of that? What's that... you live with it every day? Have you any idea how fortunate you are? No I didn't either, ha ha! Seriously though, it may be the investigations prove it would not be possible or advisable but even so...are you getting this (especially you well people!)....after three years of 'nothing more can be done' people are talking about the fact that maybe it can...FFS wouldn't you be crying!!!