Bits

Bits...last night I was in them! I was down in a place where reserves of all kinds of strength are running low and though I'm a bit better now I'd appreciate no platitudes in response along the lines of 'things looking better in the morning' because they didn't, and no, it's not the weather or the time of year either!

I have some good virtual friends but sometimes it feels as if only a real live one will do. Someone you don't have to pay, or make an appointment for. Someone who cares and is just there...or who would be very soon. Someone for whom 'busy' doesn't come into it, who doesn't say 'can't you ask someone else'. Someone who won't say 'well, you need to this or that'...'or have you tried so and so'...who would just say 'what can I do?' even if all they could do is give you a hug.

So I offered it up. Religious people might say I prayed...or they might say I couldn't because I'm a heathen but whatever I did, I did it. And this morning there was a comment on my last post from Juanita and when I looked at her last one it contained some verses of Mohammed which were rather apt. Have a look at walswords.blogspot.com...Now Mohammed lived a very different life in a very different time and place but his words still spoke to me. What I'm going through is nothing compared to what others have had dealt to them over the centuries...Earthly comfort and support may come or may not but in the end it doesn't really matter anyway. It's only wanting it to be there when it isn't that causes us to suffer. And if that sounds like I'm mixing up bits of religion...well, that's just another of my heathen ways I guess!

I give thanks for the support and comfort I do have and I am open to and welcome any more that may arrive. I give thanks to Lynn for saying I can text her tomorrow during the waiting times if I'm able and for the Force centre saying if I have longer and a counsellor is free I can talk to them too... I give thanks for a good book to read.

I give thanks to our local Environmental Health team for keeping an eye on my environment and for the NHS keeping an eye on my health...I give thanks for a letter from Kostas that survived the damp hallway and for some bitumen replacement starting on the flat roof. I give thanks for my neighbour upstairs blasting music out since she came home a few minutes ago as it means I'll get off my lazy behind and do some more of the things that need to be done.

A few years back a bunch of us at work were going a learning curve with some new software we were trialling for the company. We went for a drink afterwards and we talking about mottos for life. One of them was 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger' and though I think it still has some validity emotionally, I now know physically it's not always true... Mine was 'You don't have to live like a refugee'. And there again it is open to debate but for me it means even if you are a refugee/ victim/sufferer you should try not to be on all levels all of the time. Try to focus on the ways in which you are not... Challenging sometimes. I have another I made up a while back...you know the one(s) about if life hands you lemons...? Well, this is kind of a version of that...If there's no sign of the cavalry then learn to like rats! And I have plenty of delicious rat recipes if anyone feels besieged and is interested!