Loss adjustment

For the longest time, from before I moved in, I've had a particular plan for improving my flat and today I realised it wasn't going to happen. It's not that it's not possible financially or physically...it's just that a recce today turned up some unforseen problems and made me realise it's just not going to be practical within in a practical time frame given the situation I'm in. I was quite stunned and sad at first but I'm rallying a bit now.

There are so many things I've wanted to happen in my life that aren't going to, or have happened when it would have been so much more pleasant if they had not, but adapting to unexpectedly unfavourable circumstances and accommodating loss and disappointment is what has made the strong and resilient person I am. It's what's made me make a mission out of finding the unplanned, unhoped for, often unnoticed joys that abound around us. ..well that, and the fact it really is the way to be, of course! Yes, in an idealised version of my existence I'd have had the work done... but I'd have had the work done, stayed well, sold the flat, done some travelling, met some other being who thought I was the best thing since un-sliced bread and not be spending the nine hundred and seventy first consecutive Saturday night of it (poetic licence here, don't do the math!) home alone watching TV and pretending I'm 'talking' to people who actually have better things to do!

Anyway, I'm grateful to Clive for finding time to pop over and have a chat and a coffee with me in a cafe and do some things for me about the place that I've been unable to do. I give thanks that the weather turned out quite pleasant afterall and we were able to spend few mins in the sunshine looking at the deserted sands. I give thanks for the enormous choux bun he bought me! I give thanks that I've found another acceptable temporary arrangement of living room furniture and effects while another area of wall has been exposed for my attention. Oh yeah, and I'm glad I've stopped giving it my attention and have moved on to the 'and relax' phase of the day! For TV and more Tesco ready meals (with fresh veg of course!) and for not beating myself up about not cooking for the second day in a row...