These long summer evenings I look out my window and long to be out walking on the beach or having a little barbecue there as the sun goes down maybe. I could even camp with kindly help. If only the joy that these things would bring me could outweigh the hassle involved for anyone I asked enough for it to actually happen!
I've never been scared of asking...I even once, in a moment of astonishingly misguided self-belief, asked a man to marry me...but I've learnt that yes means no, and silence means no, and excuses are rude, and only a straight no is truly respectful and kind.
Everyone's entitled to preferences as to how they spend their time and with whom and if, even in the knowledge that opportunities to do so are running out, people I would prefer to be spending my time with in some way choose not even to spend a minute of theirs answering a text, or five or so responding to an email let alone an hour or two in my company then I absolutely respect that decision. It might make me sad, and that's fine too...I think it's great that I still have feelings albeit misplaced. I think it's great that the people I miss now won't miss me when I'm gone as they all have plenty of people they do love that they will and who wants to bring extra suffering into this world? Not I!
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Last night I watched a programme about disabled children growing up. Lots of moving moments about them or their families overcoming ordeals but the most uplifting bit for me (absolutely no pun intended) was a young boy with achondroplasty who had moved to New Zealand where they have ski instruction programmes for the disabled. And he had turned out to be super-abled at this sport where lack of height and weight don't matter and won a gold medal competing against his normal peers! I love that he's found a way to shine...and he's only ten years old. Brilliant!
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