When I first had my diagnosis I used to quip they should issue with us with a badge like that so you could flash it and go to the head of the queue.
When I found out life was probably going to be considerably shorter than I originally imagined I thought the prognosis conversations should go something like this...
Quivering patient: Tell it to me straight Doc, how long have I got?
Stern oncologist: Well, Mr Smith given the current progress of the disease, I should say about eighteen months, perhaps two years at best...but you must understand three days of that will be spent in a queues at the supermarket, another two listening to ‘hold music’ on the phone and at least a week looking for somewhere to park the car...
Altogether now:
ALWAYS...LOOK...ON...THE...BRI-IGHT...SIDE...OF...DEATH hum hum hum hum hum hum hum
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