Confidence trick

I'm still here, trundling along ever more slowly and inefficiently. The entropy of all areas of my life at this stage  is rather distressing and in some ways the glorious weather makes it worse. I'm not sure if I feel well enough even to enjoy the beach, even if I got a cab there and back, because I'd just want to doze off and that feels uncomfortable in public with strangers all around. Maybe I should go on Facebook eh and ask if someone would come with me? Yeah, yeah...been there, done that, felt awful when it failed....

There's gratitude in here somewhere I'm sure...I'm grateful for um...I'm grateful for my pretty views, for the ancient trees and shrubs in the  communal gardens some of them almost as old as the  terrace - a hundred and fifty years or so! I was talking to a man who used to garden here yesterday and he was telling me the history of the place such as us known, there's always some conjecture. It used to be a highly regarded self contained residential community with it's own water supply and kitchen gardens. It's still a lovely place to live in many ways though chopped up and diminished. I don't even mind the stairs in theory though in practice now they're tough now of course. I wish the sound proofing was better  and/or my neighbour upstairs kept more regular hours and I'd like the front windows extended to floor level and juliet balconies made outside so pots of fresh herbs and myself could bask in relative privacy. There now, there's something to be
grateful for...dreams! I'm grateful also, that in the wee small hours listening to aforementioned woman and gentleman friend playing with her cat (partly as it reads, partly euphemism!) I thought of a plan (I'm trying to think what letter we're on....G?) to try to see a specialist about my recent health problems...

I'm grateful I'm still well enough even to contemplate going outdoors. I'm grateful I can wear a pretty dress I bought last time I went away over night at beginning of June...knowing it wouldn't be needed much but loving the colours of the silk fabric and multitude of sins styling and the kindly (and tactful!) ways of the shop keeper in the friendly town of Brixham. I'm grateful I can paint my nails (and probably a lot of my toes - I haven't tried lately!) and put sandals on because I love fresh air on my skin. I'm grateful for not being on a water meter (can't separate the systems - they tried) so I can have as many showers as I want...

The trick now of course is to stop writing my blog and actually do something... have a nice day folks!