Stepping out

Wow! Carole has a LOT of blog readers doesn't she? Thank you all for stopping by! I hope you paused to read some cheerier posts as well and will maybe come back another day...

I got my meds and an assurance that a letter has been sent to neurology. For those of you who don't read Carole's blog - it's no good you and your GP knowing you need something doing...someone with a much higher salary has to actually pop in the office and get involved. I'm really sorry to hear she's suffering while waiting too.

There was a fresh cool autumn breeze here and limited sun but I groaned my way up these steps under the trees to the stunning view at the top. I had a mug of tea afterwards at the edge of the sea wall just above the waves looking at the headlands reaching out beyond each other, yearning for the time when I could walk my blues away on the coast path and trying not to hate nimble people striding past me with rucksacks on their backs.



The way I feel right now if I have to have one more billy no mates pot of tea for one inside a cafe full of friend-full tables I'll drown myself in the milk jug (which I believe is technically possible and has probably already featured in some episode of CSI!) Six months ago I still had people to sit in cafes with...people I was in regular communication with to arrange such wanton socialisation. One, and in some ways this was best of all, actually kept a camping stove, kettle and the makings in the back of his car so he could brew up wherever he/we felt like it...a lay-by with a view perhaps. I loved that!

I don't know what happened to these people, where they went and why. Maybe I just literally outlived my tolerability, maybe they thought the end might get messy and they ought to make a dash for freedom while their consciences would let them. What was really spooky was that they all left at the same time though not part of the same family or social group themselves. Did they all meet in a cafe without me and form a pact?

Anyway I'm home now, tired and ready for TV and paracetamol. I'm grateful I have both!I express gratitude also for my deftness still with a filler and knife. I think when steadier hands than mine have papered and/or painted the bits I've reconstructed they'll look OK. 'Only' a few more square metres to go...and I give thanks for the smell of Earl Grey tea. The taste's good of course but that waft of bergamot. Mmm-hmm!