You can't go back

First of all today I express gratitude for the delight of X Factor auditions without the sardonic viciousness of Simon Cowell, and with less focus in general on less talented hopefuls so therefore less opportunities to become part of the baying crowd and be unkind. Special mention to Luke Lucas for good singing and making everyone laugh and Jade Richards for good singing and making everyone cry (but in a good way). As an aficionado of crying (but in a good way) I'm always delighted when others show signs of talent in this respect and on this occasion it was most of the panel and audience plus the singer...with me in floods of course! Adele's 'Someone Like You' has quickly and justifiably become a tearjerker classic so it's actually harder I think to produce an original reaction to an already haunting tune and poignant lyrics...well done that girl for doing so!

I'm feeling very poignant myself this morning on many levels. One of the reasons being it's coming up three years since my diagnosis. On the first anniversary I asked everyone I knew to sit on the river beach here with me and eat fish and chips watching the sun go down. About ten made it and were treated to a beautiful sunset and we took some happy pictures, but by last year most of them had fallen out of touch and I didn't bother to try and organise anything.

This year I'd like to do something to honour my continuing tho increasingly isolated self but it becomes increasingly hard to think of something special to do on my own and still feel celebratory. This morning I read of the very thing on the very day! Unfortunately it's in Scotland but that's the point...It's a day of art and festivities around the harbour on Skye in celebration of the 'Bonnie Boat'. Amongst other events they have a real boat covered with tiny mirrored tiles that will be broadcasting sounds and songs and stories collected from around the island. You can get special radios to listen to these as you walk the coastal trail to where you can see the next door island I lived on when I was a little girl. I'm crying just thinking about it (but not in a good way).