Not at home

I suppose the point I was trying to make about corresponding with Kostas is that I signed up with the Human Writes organisation thinking it was a job that needed doing that I could do. I thought it would probably be a chore but was a kind of pay-it-forward kindness in recognition of the people who've occasionally woken up in the morning and thought 'Oh bleep, I suppose I really ought to make some contact with the woman' and have! There was a point when they were altruistic and found time for me that they would maybe rather have used for something else. My first gratitude of the day is for that altruism.

I try to remember that the fact they don't continue to show it is testament to the fact that they stopped finding any benefit to it themselves, that it became too much of a chore with not enough payoff. We all tend to avoid tasks like that and if necessary ignore reminders or try keep them out of sight. Even if the chores are actually people. Especially so sometimes... Basically I've just been left in a home to die like millions of inconvenient people over the years. It's just that at the moment it's my home! Kostas is in a different type of home...a place where they keep inconvenient people til they kill them. It's all right to kill people sometimes apparently, it's just not everyone's allowed to, or allowed to tell you you can or even order you to do it.

Sorry! The world from a (I suspect) slightly autistic anthropological perspective can be a bit uncomfortable for the normals to hear described! Any times when two or more human beings appear to be not only singing together from the same song sheet but actually in harmony are very precious! For any times when I've not felt like a chore, have had a singing part in the choir, even if playback has afterwards proved me out of tune I give gratitude for today.