Well, it's a good job I'm not relying on blog pageviews to keep my well being and confidence levels up since they are considerably down. It's probably hard for anyone to possibly imagine the isolation in which I now live. Solitary dwelling, unvisited or invited souls without internet access might but they are not reading this ha ha! Even my death row penfriend talks about his 'neighbour' giving him the crossword to do out of the daily paper he has delivered.
The trouble with having so many possible lines of communication is the awareness of how many ways they are not being used for communication with me. Three phones don't ring, two don't get texts, two email accounts rarely accessed by anyone with a face to go with the name and don't even get me started on Facebook where it seems now I'm only welcome to watch from the edge of the playground, listen from the corner of the room....
Sometimes it does feel unbearably hard to be so alone so my first thanks of the day is that so many have no concept of this and for the one or two who, maybe grasping it, still reply... And my second is for the illusion of having someone to talk to at any time that comes from writing this blog. My third is for you 'virtual friends' who do read it and take time to post comments to show me that you do so it seems like you're talking back. Thank you, thank you, thank you...
I know exactly what you mean... i have got rid of all the so called frie3nds from work, i have told my husband that when i die i instructed him to tell them i dont want them at my funeral.
ReplyDeleteWhen i bump into any old friends they are embarrased that im still alive cos they havent been around.
Its their loss you are a lovely person who probably makes them feel inferior as you are obviously much more og a nice person than them.
Dont worry about them we are here for you now.xxx
Love Debbie.
Oh Angel, we are talking back because we all care for you. I will miss your writings over the next couple of weeks but will catch up on my return from hols. You make sure you take care, Karen x
ReplyDeleteAngel
ReplyDeleteI'm answering back because it's something I'm very very good at - answering back. Just ask my mum, she'll tell you I've done it all my life - lol....:-)
Friend me on Facebook, I'll talk to you on there and bring you in from the edge of the playground right into the thick of things..:-)
Go to my blog and click the link there and send me a friend request *if you want to, that is*...
Hugs
xxxx
Hi Angel, dosen't our Carole just look like she answers back, the tilt of the head and the half grin! Hope we can all do our bit to bring you in from the edge of things, since finding you on cancerchat you have become part of my daily life, look for your posting even before my first cuppa, during the day sometimes, and always before I go to bed. Chin up Angel, in body you might be alone a lot(like me),but in cyber space we are all, close knit, in a huddle, and talking just like in the playground. Pat xxx
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